I’m completely aware that this is a little redundant since yesterday I posted a different list, but seeing as today is my one year wedding anniversary♥, I thought this post was called for.
I’m happy to say that marriage is a lot more than I ever thought it could be. Knowing that we both have family that have struggled with it, and I have friends that are kind of fumbling now, I figured I’d put a few things out into space that might help people. Hell, maybe one day I’ll need to look back on this post to remind myself of certain things. Who knows? So here are ten things I’ve learned about marriage in no particular order:
- You can be married without losing your individuality. My husband and I are polar opposites, and that’s what makes our marriage fun, and probably what makes it work so well. We appreciate each other’s quirks and we encourage each other to not lose touch with what makes us happy as individuals.We make it a priority to constantly learn new things about each other as well as have new experiences together.
- Communication is everything. I’ve been in so many relationships where we just yelled at each other, but my husband and I make a point to talk to each other and keep an open mind about everything. We’ve literally only fought once in our entire relationship, even before we got married. That was because I was having a rough time and he was pissing me off. But even during that little spiff, we still kept talking to each other. Never stop talking. It’s that old saying of “never go to bed angry,” but simplified.
- Humor is super important. Make sure you’re constantly finding new things to laugh at, even if it’s each other. If you can’t have fun together (even if it’s at someone’s expense), the excitement will probably end up snuffing out at some point.
- Cherish your quality time together – phones down! I know it’s really easy to get sucked into things like Facebook just because of everything that’s going on around you, but you’ll benefit from the quiet without your phone. You can’t really enjoy each other if both of your faces are glued to screens. Don’t put yourself in a position to look back one day and wish you paid more attention to your spouse than social media.
- Your partner will still love you even if you’re gross sometimes. You’ll both get sick eventually. Kids are gross. Everyone poops. Those are facts of life. Be comfortable with yourself and with your partner. Eventually something gross will happen and you’ll need to realize that it’s okay and normal. I’m still working on this one, to be honest – I’ve given my husband an enema and I have yet to poop with the door open. It’ll come eventually, because I’m 100000% sure that that level of comfort and reassurance is completely necessary long term.
- No one can prepare you for taking care of someone when they’re sick. I always thought that I’d be perfectly fine dealing with the flu or whatever else life could throw at me, but when you’re faced with it….oh no. You have to remember that you love that puddle of germs and mess that’s really angry because they feel like garbage, and sometimes it’s really hard. I can’t even imagine what going through a critical illness is like, and I don’t want to, but I give kudos to the people that are in that position. A bad cold is a challenge in itself. This will be one of those times where it sucks, but just power through.
- Every decision you make from “I Do” until.. will be “our” decision. You don’t always have to concede to your partner, but you do always have to keep them in mind. Even on stupid things like deciding when and how to clean something. Every little thing matters. Never be afraid to ask how they feel about whatever because you might end up being surprised by the answer, but you’ll always be glad you asked.
- You still have to sacrifice in marriage. Go to that thing your wife wants you to because it’ll make her happy. Splurge a little on stupid things to break up the monotony of every day life. Let your husband go out for a drink with his boys if he wants to. You shouldn’t ever expect everything to go your way, or your spouse to be at your mercy. Give a little and you’ll get a little in return.
- Realize that no one is perfect, and find happiness in that fact. Even if something bothers you for a while, eventually you’ll learn to love it anyway, even if it still irks you sometimes. Your spouse will make decisions you don’t agree with. They’ll do things that absolutely gross you out or piss you off. Embrace your differences and it’ll help you grow as a person.
- The only opinions about your marriage that matter are yours and your partner’s. You’re only married to one person. You’re not married to your cousins, grandparents, in-laws, and parents too. If you’re happy in your marriage and your partner is happy in your marriage, everyone else can eat it.
I firmly believe that getting married was the best decision I ever made, and that being married has made me a better person. I really hope that some of the things I’ve learned can help you or maybe give you a new insight, at the very least.
Let me know what you think! Are there any tips you’d like to share? What have you learned from being married? Did what I said make sense to you? I’d love to know your thoughts and opinions.
Thank you for reading. If you want to stay around for a little bit, I’d love for you to read some of my other posts!